You've Got to be Kidding...

I spoke with the PM this morning and now it’s possible that I’m not coming back in the fall. Apparently the Senior VP for the region is going to call me tomorrow and talk to me. About something. It’s a good thing that they’re not being cryptic or anything, eh? If he already knows what he has to tell me, why doesn’t he tell me? These are the kinds of things that make me paranoid. Don’t get me wrong, it will be great to have the time at home, and I’m sure I’ll find plenty of ways to keep myself busy at work, but I just don’t understand what’s going on. (On the plus side, my ticket to Paris is likely to be a lot cheaper from DC than from Ho Chi Minh City.) This is just…frustrating. Even if it can sometimes take me a while to make decisions about things, once I make up my mind, that’s usually the way it is. So after having mentally adjusted to another three months back here, having everything thrown up in the air again is a little exasperating. Oh well – as I’ve said before, this is the nature of this business, I need to be more go-with-the-flow.

But it’s good that I’ve got most of my gift shopping done…that way, if I don’t come back, at least I’ve still got things for good little boys and girls that they’re not likely to find elsewhere between now and Christmas. And their birthdays, for some of them.

The comments I received on the methodology I wrote were minimal and largely useless – something along the lines of someone saying “read this” and sending a document that I already had. So I know it needs a major overhaul, which is fine, I just need to figure out how to do it. It’s not a huge deal, I’ve got some ideas, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hoping for more substantive input. I don’t have a problem working independently and figuring things out, but when I’ve been put into a situation where I know that people don’t think I can do what I’m supposed to be doing, and I’ve asked for help, it’s a little disheartening to receive so little of it. Nonetheless, onward and upward. I can at least sound like I know what I’m talking about these days, which is progress.

As I predicted, I was a complete slug yesterday, which was kind of nice. In a way. I wouldn’t want every day to be like that, and when you’re in a studio apartment, your bed often doubles as your couch, so that adds to the sensation of pure laziness. But then I got up early this morning to go running, and I have decided to write yesterday off as a “recharge” day. (As Madeline Kahn said in Blazing Saddles: “I feel wefweshed…”) I decided to make myself some dinner last night, consisting of rice with curried tofu and veggies. Keep in mind that I actually like tofu when it’s cooked properly. Well, the curry paste that I used had something in it that caused an unbelievably foul smell to permeate the entire apartment. It actually didn’t end up tasting bad, but wow. I hope that the smell actually did dissipate, and that I didn’t just get used to it. In any event, it’s probably not a bad idea for me to throw the balcony door open and turn the fans on when I get back to the apartment.

In light of my extended time here, I don’t think that the Bangladesh trip is going to work out for me. That’s disappointing, but it’s not catastrophic. I would imagine that we’ll have some work out that way in the future, so I don’t think it’s my last opportunity to go there. And as I had said earlier, I wouldn’t turn down the chance to go there, but it’s not on the top of my list of places I want to see. So, a bummer, but not tragic.

It appears that the originally proposed Resettlement Specialist (what I’m doing) for this project is now available for part of the project. This is actually very good news, because if she can get here soon, then she and I can work together before I leave. I don’t know if that will affect whether or not I come back here in the fall, but if she’s not available for the duration of the project, I think they’ll still need me. Maybe this is what Mr. Senior VP needs to talk to me about? Oh, the confusion. Since I’m still not psychic, I’ll have to wait until he calls me tomorrow, I suppose.

The soup of the day at today’s lunch place was “Triple Beans with Hame”. Heh.

I got my quote from the swanky hotel today and it was higher than the first price I’d heard, but lower than what he told me Saturday. I e-mailed him back and said that I was confused because the first price I heard was lower, and that I was concerned that the increase in price from what I was originally told would stretch my living allowance more than I wanted to. I asked if there was any way they could be flexible about it…so we’ll see what they come up with. It’s only a matter of a few dollars a day, to be honest, but that adds up over the course of three months. If they won’t be flexible, I’ll have to think about it – although I think it might still be my best option. Of course, it’s best for me to wait until I know for certain that I’m returning, I suppose. Until tomorrow on that one?

I *really* do need to get over my penchant for planning. Although, I am a planner, so it shouldn’t be totally unexpected. I’ve even got a piece of paper saying I spent a lot of money to become a planner. There’s a seal on it and everything.