Buried...
In work. Fortunately, they're hiring another person, but right now I feel like I can't keep up with anything and I'm getting sloppy. This is not good - particularly as my performance review is right around the corner. Urgh. I barely have time to think, let alone write (which is therapeutic for me), exercise (ditto), and spend real quiet time with Special K. It doesn't count if we both happen to be quiet because I'm hooked up to my laptop and incapable of conversing for more than two minutes at a time.
I'm not sure what the difference is - I've been busy before, but maybe I feel more invested now? Maybe I feel as though there's more at stake because I'm still new and have things to prove? I don't know. But my anxiety level is really, really high.
So, to redirect for a second (before I get back to work), here are a few things I'm grateful for:
1 - my second anniversary with Special K is on Monday. Time flies! But it's been good and I couldn't ask for anyone better to go through life with - he sees the crazy in me and hasn't run away yet. Score one for Mandy.
2 -I've been able to see so much of our friends and family lately.
3 - my two kitties who are curled up on the couch next to me, sleeping peacefully as if they just know how incredibly cute they are
4 - I have a job and it's with a good, stable, risk-averse company that I like
5 - Special K and I got a good-sized tax refund this year that will help us meet some goals, and get closer to some others
6 - my latest mammogram eventually came back clear and I got a clean bill of health
7 - I got new running shoes and am working toward getting back on the road
8 - my small group from church is going through a great phase and really feels like it's flourishing
9 - grace
10 - a last-minute work trip to Hawaii at the end of this month - the change of pace will be much appreciated even though I'll only be there for a blink
So there you have it. I'm trying to be aware that there's more to life than work, because I know that's true. I'm also trying out a crazy new thing called boundaries and limits, which will mean cutting back on some things. I fully expect massive guilt to ensue. But I know it will be good.
posted by Mandy @ 12:39 AM
2 Comments:
I hear you on so many of these things. Good luck with the boundaries and the guilt. I toy with that idea often but haven't quite gotten there yet.
sending hugs. I feel you - I was at work until 11:15 last night, which you know is unusual. Also, 5 days of work in the office this week - also unusual and feeling a bit oppressive (I know, cry me a river). Lots of good opportunities to do new things, and being relied upon is good, but damn, I really wish that promotion would come through already. "You're so great" only goes so far. I just want to be on the level with everyone else doing the same work. (I know, though, I, too, am grateful to have a recession-proof job... I hope!) I hope you have some time to de-stress this weekend. Tell keith that you need at least a 5 minute un-interrupted snuggle at 8pm.
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