Goodness Gracious...

You know what the two worst words I’ve heard recently are? “Contract extension”. That’s right – they may want us to stay here longer to finish this project. Considering the fact that I hate virtually everything about my existence here (the term “life” seems too generous a word), this is not good news for me. I have really been trying to be positive about the good things about being here, but this was too much for me. I’ve been basically sitting here, trying not to cry all afternoon – and for those of you who don’t know me, I am *lousy* at hiding my emotions, so it’s very clear to one and all that I’m upset about something. Which only frustrates me more, because I don’t really *want* people knowing that I’ve been trying not to cry all afternoon.

It’s true enough that the schedule we have is virtually impossible. Part of why I took the news (and it’s not even “news”, it’s just a possibility [probability?] at the moment) so badly is because I’ve been working 11+ hour days since I got here, without a day off, and I’m hitting a wall.. We’re under a ton of pressure, and I am spending my days being incessantly called into TL’s office, spending 90 minutes helping him compose a letter, or sitting through a 3-hour meeting conducted entirely in Arabic, when I really need to be sitting in front of my computer, writing. Which I’m too tired to do well at this point. So, from that perspective, it would be good to have more time to finish the project. But I have been away from home far too long, and I *refuse* to even contemplate spending my 30^th birthday alone in Yemen.

Maybe this won’t seem so bad in the morning? Here’s hoping. Let’s see how far I can run on the treadmill tonight. If I’m completely exhausted, then maybe I won’t have the energy to think about it.