Count to Ten

I’ve written and re-written this post a few times, and I keep deleting it, not feeling comfortable with what I’ve written. Usually because it's veered a little too much into Hilda von Bitchy territory - or maybe it's Wendy Whiner. Whatever - can't guarantee that either of these ladies has left the building.

Basically, it’s been one of those weeks. I’m feeling kind of crapped on at present, and whether that’s rational or not doesn’t change how I feel, I’ve still managed to stuff all those balloons for my pity party into the car and take them everywhere with me the last couple days. It’s surprising that I’m feeling this lousy, because I was actually feeling pretty good up until a couple days ago. But I’m tired and completely swamped at work, mission trip stuff is requiring a lot of energy and is frustrating at times, and somehow, sometime, I need to find time to study for my professional certification exam because I’ve put it off before and I really can’t do that again. And I don’t know how that’s going to happen, so that’s stressing me out.

Some very lovely and patient people have been listening to me vent and have offered some good advice and feedback, but I know that more than anything else I need to get my work finished, get some sleep, get some groceries in the house, get some more sleep, get back to the gym, and learn not to take things personally (I don’t expect too much success with the last part, I’ve never been good at it.). I feel the need for some hibernation coming on, I just won’t have time for a few weeks.

*sigh*

BUT, I’m reminding myself of why I agreed to lead the mission trip when I was asked to do it months ago. I’m reminding myself of how it’s going to feel when all these numerous work projects go in. I’m reminding myself of that calm, happy feeling I had last week, confident that my career was going to be heading somewhere different and good in the next few months. And then Milo or Xena will come up to me, purring, nuzzle into my side, try to lick my face once or twice with their little sandpaper tongues, and I can feel my blood pressure go down for a little while.

(K is good for snuggling too, but it’s just awkward when he tries to lick my face.)