the lesson for today, grasshopper...

...is humility. There have been a bunch of e-mails going back and forth about the Vietnam project, and I just got another one, this time directly from the project manager, saying that he didn't mean it personally, but essentially, he doesn't think I'm qualified to do the job, and he wants to have someone senior on the project, to whom I can offer assistance. Now, as a little background, I knew my boss had proposed me for this position ages ago and was told by this guy that there was no way I could do the job. My boss said, au contraire mon frere, she's wicked smaht and can definitely do it. (My boss is neither French nor from Boston, but I wanted to spice things up a little.) So there has been much debate about this, and the project manager finally agreed to use me, but came back again today with the above reiterated opinion.

Now, one of the things that irritates me the most in life is when people will talk about me, and not to me. Makes me nuts. So I decided to just take the ol' bull by the horns, so to speak, and e-mail this guy myself, without the endless "reply to all"ing that had been going on. I said that I could understand his concerns because all he knew of me was what was written on a piece of paper, having never met or worked with me before. I added that I was confident that I could do the work, but had no problem working alongside someone more senior if that would make him more at ease and make the project run more smoothly.

The facts of the matter are that I'm still getting experience with this kind of thing, and this is specifically about resettlement, so I have a lot to learn, and I really don't have a problem learning from someone who has done this more than I have. I am well aware that there are many things in my field that I still don't know, and I have never claimed to be omniscient. (For those of you who beg to differ, let me just add that I'll only bother to argue about things about which I'm pretty darn confident - this does not, however, mean that I think I'm omniscient. It just means that I think I know what I know. End of tangent...) So I'm hoping that this was the gracious way to address the issue, as the project manager prefaced his e-mail with "please don't think I don't want to work with you", from which I inferred that he thought I was taking it personally. I'll admit that I'm a little intimidated by the thought of going to work for someone who doesn't think I can do what I'm there to do, but I am going to try to use that as motivation to prove him wrong. We'll see how that goes.

Sometimes just getting to the freaking project is more work than the project itself, I tell you. Oy.

I had a lovely time at the pool today, and there were actual people there besides the guys who work there, so that was a surprise. Apparently Karachi is not totally devoid of expats at the moment. Who knew? I think I have a smidge of heat rash or something, but that's hardly catastrophic. I'm up to doing sets of twelve laps, so that's very exciting for me. One of the girls in the office asked me what I do when I'm not at work. It was not a very long conversation. However, among other things, I mentioned that I like to go swimming. Her eyes widened with horror as she asked "do you actually wear a swimming costume??" When I said that, well - yes, I did, she looked as though I had just told her that I liked to walk down the street buck naked just to see what would happen. I thought of explaining that it wasn't as though I was prancing around in a thong or anything (leaving aside the fact that I don't "prance" anyway), but decided that it was best to just change the subject. I haven't been to the beach here, but apparently, women go swimming in...well, they still have to be completely covered, so they're fully clothed. I suppose that in comparison, I might as well be naked. Fortunately for all involved, however, I am not.

Particularly in light of the whole "heat rash" thing. Ick.

I had a lovely chat with the guy who lives downstairs, a very nice Finnish man, and our environmental guy, who is also Finnish, and in Karachi for a couple of days. The environmental guy's English is excellent, but I have to say - if he ever wants to pursue a career in hypnotherapy, he's all set. He speaks in this very low, quiet, monotone, and it's like being with a human quaalude. I almost nodded off, and I've even taken a nap today. It wasn't as though he didn't have anything interesting to say, but that voice just about did me in. I'm still trying to wake up.

Back to work tomorrow, and back to trying to placate G-man, who somehow managed to completely botch the surveys that were tested. I have several issues that I have to raise with him, but I need to figure out how to do it without resorting to saying "DUDE!!! What are you thinking???" As much as he hasn't been a paragon of professionalism, I still need to try to be. And, knowing how he is, I need to say all of this in a way that makes him think it was his idea. Life in Pakistan is many things, but what is it not? That's right, kids, it's still not boring.