Change of Plans
The friends who were supposed to come last weekend ended up not coming, owing to a nasty case of strep throat that. This ended up changing my weekend plans rather dramatically, but probably for the best in the end, much as I would have liked to see the gang. And we’ll reschedule anyway.
I don’t know when exactly this happened, but I have realized in the last few years that, as much as I’m an extrovert, I am also definitely someone who needs time alone. Time where I can go to the gym, clean my house, run my errands, and I don’t say more than “thank you” to the person checking me out at the grocery store over the course of the entire day. Where I can have a day or two when no one needs anything from me or wants anything from me and I can get my head together, or let my brain unwind. I often feel guilty for taking this time, which I think is the combined result of being a people-pleaser and some residual FOMO (“fear of missing out”), a teenage and early-adult affliction that I seem to be getting over fairly well. And, clever acronyms aside, there’s also a genuine desire to be there for the people who are important to me. However, I’ve noticed that it’s a lot easier for me to happily volunteer my time and energy for things, and it’s a lot easier for me to be the kind of person I want to be, if I take this time. So that’s kind of the ever-present conflict – I can’t ever say “no” because I feel as though I’m being unreliable/irresponsible/uncaring if I do, but in order to be the kind of person who really can be reliable/responsible/caring, I really should say “no” from time to time.
And I don’t know anyone else like that, either.
Um…yeah.
So, before the triathlon, there will be the 5K that my friend E and I have decided to run. (As I’ve mentioned, I need goals.) I’ve done one before, but I’ve slipped a lot. Currently, I can run 1.5 – 2 miles (depends on the day), and I run approximately a 10-minute mile. No, that’s not terribly impressive, but I used to have a very strict rule that I didn’t run unless someone was chasing me, so this is a marked improvement. Especially when you take the joint problems into account. I can swim a mile, but it takes me an embarrassingly long 40 minutes, and I can make it through an entire spinning class, but I don’t know how that breaks down into times and speeds. I suppose that first up on my training regimen goals should be getting my running up to snuff – i.e. 3.5 miles, preferably at a 10-minute mile or less. (I’d prefer to work up to the distance right now and improve my speed later.)
We’ll see how we do with this. Because as much as I really want to do this, I’d also like a pony. Who’s to say which is more realistic at the moment?
posted by Mandy @ 2:01 PM
4 Comments:
I think I married someone with that gene... A good friend once told us that when he hit 30, he stopped caring about what people thought so much. He could say no a lot easier. We have found that to be true! Perhaps you are starting to catch the bug...
LOVE!
St
Sometimes for me, it's not so much a fear of missing out as much as a fear of disappointment. I guess there has to be a balance somewhere, right?
Alone time is absolutely vital to maintaining a coherent, intelligent, energetic, mostly-cheery me at the times when I'm really needed. So, yeah, I totally understand the need for downtime. I think of it as recharging. Like my cell phone or iPod, sometimes I need to be shut down and resting in order to boot back up. Okay, I took the analogy too far, but you know what I mean! Take downtime whenever you need it!
And by the time you hit 50, your hearing starts to suffer. This makes it a great deal easier as you don't even have to say "No!" to requests you can't hear. Ahhhh the peace of it all! ;-)
Love you!
Karen
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