Argh...

I have to admit to feeling a little demoralized this morning. I have been reviewing the work I’ve been doing with TL and it *still* needs a lot of revisions. I understand that I’m still learning, that I’ve never done this before, all of that – but I keep hoping that there will come a point where I’ll catch on, and discussing things like methodology for land use predictions won’t have me saying (repeatedly): “Wait, this doesn’t make any sense to me, I don’t understand what you’re basing this on…” and things like that.

I realize that this is, essentially, vanity, because I don’t like feeling stupid, and I don’t like not knowing how to do things. But let’s indulge my intellectual vanity for a bit, shall we?

It’s good that I like what I do, although I’d like a word with my cruise director these days, but this has me realizing just how much I still have to learn, and sometimes it really is like pulling teeth. TL is, for the most part, very patient with me, but sometimes he gives me a look as if to say “how can you not understand this?”, which is frustrating, because I’m usually thinking the same thing.

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As an update to the above, I have just finished doing a happy dance because I *finally* figured out how to do what TL was trying to explain to me! (This particular happy dance involves a haphazard combination of the Cabbage Patch, the meringue, random jumping up and down, and a little booty shaking.) The problem earlier was that he made too many guesses for me to understand, but NOW I can predict future land needs based on actual numbers that I figured out myself – which means I’ll actually be able to support and explain what I’m going to be predicting! I realize that this makes me either look like a total geek or someone who has totally lost her mind. However, since both are completely true, I’d say it presents an accurate picture.

This has made me *so* happy that I’ve almost forgotten about the agony of trying to edit something I received from someone today. Someone who didn’t know that you don’t use the first person in formal writing. Or that you don’t use en dashes where you should use commas (seriously – I had to correct 30 pages of that). Or that “not negligible” is not the most “not illiterate” sounding way to say “significant” in the context in which it was used. Or that you don’t selectively (and, apparently, randomly) bold words and phrases for emphasis in formal writing because your words alone should convey your meaning, and things that add a conversational tone are inappropriate.

Hey – I said almost.

And tomorrow night I get to do something *awesome* - pack to go home!!

Ooh…I feel another happy dance coming on. If you’ll excuse me…

(As a p.s., I told TL about my major accomplishment, and he wasn't nearly as excited as I was. But that's okay, I know *you* guys are proud of me, right...?)