Monday, March 12, 2007

Spam

My Hotmail account is regularly clogged with spam (unfortunately, it’s not clogged with SPAM. While revolting, it sure would make a good and interesting story.) It got so bad that many years ago, I set my Inbox filter to “exclusive”, meaning that if you’re not in my address book or on my “safe” list, your message goes to my junk mail folder. It’s not a big deal, as I routinely peruse my junk mail folder, and it’s not my primary e-mail account anymore anyway. Every once in a while, I’ll catch a few gems in there, whether it be creative headlines, bizarre (and often grammatically incorrect) headlines, or ones that are just a head-scratcher.

I was scanning the folder today, and I found the following:

AARP W8loss Benefits Alert - March, 2007

So great. The internet now thinks I’m fat and old.

Stupid internet. Your mom’s fat and old.

Special K and I finally finished that trial-by-fire of wedding planning, the seating chart. What a big, fat pain in the butt. Fortunately, the room where we’ll be eating isn’t that large, and we’ve decided to be seated in the middle, so there’s really no “off in Siberia” corner – no one will be more than one table away from us. (Part of the reason we decided to be seated in the middle.) The good thing about the wedding is that I’m really excited to see every single person who will be there. The bad thing is that part of you always wishes you could invite more people – but you can’t, and that’s the way things go. Fortunately, most people understand about site capacity limitations, and budget limitations, and all of those things. If you invite more people than your venue can hold, then it’s inevitable that you’ll be one of those people who have a 100% “yes” response. And then there’s that concept of the “B” list. It’s not a bad one, per se, but it’s hard to do without people knowing that they’re on it. And since that would be hurtful, we opted not to entertain the idea of one at all.

So, we’re four days away, we’re scrambling to take care of all those little things that can kind of suck the life out of you, and did I mention that we’re only four days away???

Wow. Time flies, kids. It really does.

5 Comments:

Blogger Deb said...

Hey
We did the same thing - Sat in the middle - had a blast and enjoyed every flippin' minute of it.

SO dance the night away in those kickin' green shoes and ENJOY!

See you when you're married (now HOW cool is that???)
:)
Deb

6:43 PM  
Blogger Brunette said...

Four days?

I am.
SO.
Excited!

(Oh, and my word verification? "Oozkam." Good one.)

10:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks to our masochistic multi-location wedding, we had to do two sets of seating charts. But much like women manage to block out the pains of childbirth, I remember viturally nothing about wedding planning. I just hope I never ever have to do it again.
We'll be sending ya good wedding cheers from the balmy midwest!

10:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

2 things:
1) No one, but NO ONE can insult an inanimate object / construct such as the internet like you! I always knew the internet's mom was fat and old. That's hilarious!
2)Thank you for sitting in the middle. If you were in front, it would be much more difficult to throw things at you.
See you soon!
Madcity

4:37 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

see you tomorrow!

MM

10:02 PM  

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