Non-Sequitur

It’s funny where my mind wanders when I’m tired (slept really poorly last night as well). I started out after lunch thinking about how I was tired. Then I started thinking about how I wanted to go to sleep, and how the bed at the apartment is really uncomfortable. And then I thought “hey…maybe I should get new bedding…” So, here I am, sitting at my desk, having just taken far too long to produce a simple letter of introduction requesting a meeting with our client, trying desperately to stay awake, and daydreaming about what kind of new linens I’d like to get. Does it help at all that I actually realize that I’m being pathetic? Do I get points for self-awareness?

I *do* actually get work done, I’m not a total waste of space and air, but today my brain keeps saying “oh, look! A shiny object!”, thereby making it impossible for me to concentrate on the task at hand. That’s okay, though – my calendar for the rest of the day isn’t exactly full – then D and I figure out what we’re doing this weekend. That part should be fun, actually.

I found some pictures that the PM had taken on his tour of the project area. They’re cool to see, so I’ve included them for your viewing pleasure. Kind of gives you an idea about life in rural Vietnam. It’s not uncommon to see large tarps spread out along the side of the road with rice drying on them. Traffic is seldom heavy enough to make this a really big problem, and if two cars just happen to be trying to approach at the same time, well…that’s when the fun starts!

There tends to be more settlement along canals and waterways, so traffic picks up a little. Just try imagining getting a Toyota Four-Runner across this bridge, at the same time as all these people on their motorcycles, on their bicycles, and on foot. Not only was I worried that we might squish someone, but I was also worried that the bridge would collapse. Fortunately, neither one happened.

The settlement along the canals also tends to run into the canals, resulting in these odd-looking semi-stilt houses. They seem to be such a part of their environment that it looks like they almost grew out of the river.

Momentary Panic

Yesterday afternoon, I’m sitting at my computer having has a fairly productive morning. Got things accomplished, feeling good. The IT guys who are here setting up our network are hard at work running wires and cables throughout the office, it’s been a good day. Then, one of them says he just needs to hop on my computer to connect it to the network. Foolishly, I say “oh, okay”, thinking he’s just got to add another connection or something. There were a few little warning bells in my head, but I didn’t think much about it (like I said – end of the day.) Then he restarts my computer, and I can’t log in. Can’t do anything. My blood pressure starts to rise a little, and I ask him what he did. He stares at me blankly, and I notice that one of the fields that is supposed to be in my login window is gone. I ask him what happened to it, and again, blank stare. I say “well, this is not okay, you have to fix this. Now.” We then also notice that he’s botched the new girl’s computer similarly, so she and I are both getting nervous. He goes over to her computer and starts putting CDs in, getting into the BIOS (is that the right way to say that, all you IT guys out there?), trying to change the administrator password. It doesn’t help that D’s computer is French, that she has a French keyboard, the commands are in French, etc. She and I start speaking to each other in French about the situation at hand, and we’re not using the most charitable terms – but we’re trying to be polite enough to at least not say this in English, since he understands some English. At this point, I close my laptop and basically tell him that I don’t think he knows how to fix what he did, and that I’m going to call my office in Washington, but before I do that, he needs to explain to me very carefully what happened. It comes out in fits and starts, and he says something about changing it from a domain environment to a workgroup environment, and he needs to create an account in the workgroup. I tersely enquire as to how he proposes to do this when we can’t get into the computer at all. Another blank stare. I ask why he didn’t set up the account before restarting the computer. Deer caught in the headlights. At this point, D and I decide to cut our losses, although we have a feeling that her computer is in worse shape than mine, and head out for the evening. The IT person in the Paris office has just left for three weeks of vacation, and I’m hoping fervently that there will be someone in DC who can help me, I just have to wait a few hours for the office to open. (Who loves an 11-hour time difference? I do, I do!)

We leave and go get dinner – have a lovely evening conversing about all kinds of things, making plans for what we’re going to do this weekend in terms of sightseeing and all that, and frequently commenting on how we’re both still really hacked that our computers got messed up, that the guy who messed them up had no idea how to undo what he’d done, and that he didn’t seem all that interested in fixing the situation, what with having spent a good amount of the evening looking at his watch as her computer spiraled downward under his care. Sorry for the run-on sentence, but we were using a lot of them last night, I figured it would help capture the mood. Okay, that’s not exactly true, I was mostly just being lazy. Moving right along.

I get home and call the DC office, and fortunately, our IT guy can help me, I dial into the VPN and everything gets fixed. Apparently, this happens a LOT to people when they travel, which is why we are so often warned about letting ANYONE ELSE touch our computers. I have now promised to bring our IT guy back a few bottles of wine from France, and to never let anyone touch my computer unless they bear a striking resemblance to him, me, or the other guy in our IT department. This may mean that I will have to spend the rest of my time here printing things off of someone else’s computer, but at least my computer will work. Pete, Jeff, Darren, Charlie – feel free to laugh…or just shake your heads sadly.

But D’s computer has been really messed up, and our IT department couldn’t help her. The guy who messed it up in the first place is back, and trying to just change the administrator password back to what it originally was, so that our IT people can fix it tonight. We are doubtful, and I feel really bad for her, because I know how frustrated she is. I mean, honestly I also feel bad for this guy, because he’s obviously in over his head, and I know that none of this was intentional. But he’s still probably off my Christmas card list.

So, that happened.

Things are actually starting to happen and move forward here – the local guy I hired is out getting some data we need, so that’s very helpful. I was told that he would need direction, but that he could do the job. So far, that seems to be an accurate assessment, so as long as he can continue to take the direction that I give him, then we should be in good shape. I’m really glad I’ve had the chance to come here, it’s been a much better experience, both personally and professionally, than the project in Pakistan. Pakistan wasn’t awful, but this has just been so much better.

I can’t believe that London had another series of bombings yesterday – awful. Since I can’t get into Yahoo, I don’t know if I’ve heard from my cousins, so I hope they’re okay. It’s just bizarre, and I imagine that it makes people more than a little edgy. I suppose I’ll find out for myself when I’m there in a couple of weeks. I can’t wait to go, I think it’s going to be wonderful. (There will be lots of pictures taken there, too. Snapfish just isn’t going to know what to do with the stacks and stacks of film I’ll be sending them.)

I’ve got to get back to setting up our resettlement framework. I am just wild and crazy, I tell you!

The Countdown Continues!

Yesterday marked four weeks to the day from my return home, so as much as I like it here, I’ve now got a little countdown going on in my head. 27 days left! One thing that I don’t know if I truly anticipated was just how sick I would become of the clothes that I’ve brought with me. I think that, when I get home, I won’t know what to do with all the sartorial possibilities – my poor little brain will melt. It’s funny, though – there are plenty of boutiques and such in the tourist areas that have Western sizes (as I’ve mentioned, the average Vietnamese woman is the size of my pinky), so there’s plenty of stuff I could buy and easily fit into, I just don’t know how much use I have for silk blouses at the moment. But I’ve seen a couple of boutiques in other parts of town that are trying a different approach. Written across the front windows beneath the shop name, in big letters, are the words “large sized and middle aged boutique”. I almost snorted the first time I saw one. I hope they don’t try to export that concept to the States, I don’t think it would really sell. I mean, I thought Dress Barn sounded frumpy…

The office is filling up, which is good. We’ve got more people here, and they look and sound busy. So, as long as they actually are busy, I’d say we’re in good shape. I’m still waiting on comments for the methodology that I’ve written, so I’m reading some more supporting material that I’ve been given. It’s not what I would call “riveting”. Or even “interesting”. But it is, at least, relevant, so I can justify reading it while I’m sitting here. There are still some communication issues with our local guys in the office (as a quick glance at the notes from our “all Vietnamese, all the time” meetings indicates – the subject of the memo was “Take Note”), but I think they’re workable for the most part. We still have no translator, so that’s going to become more of an issue as time goes by. I don’t know how big of a deal it’s going to be before I leave, but since I’d like to stay involved with the project, I hope it gets resolved soon, because not having a translator will make everything harder. And then there’s the PM’s Russian cautionary tale that I mentioned the other day.

I still love that story.

It’s really strange how traveling for long periods of time starts to affect you. As long as you aren’t living out of a suitcase, you can almost fool yourself into a feeling of permanence with wherever you are. I know I’ve talked about this before, and I’m likely to do it again, but it always seems strange to remind myself that this desk, with my view out over the park, this office, the drive-thru art gallery downstairs, and all the other things that have become familiar are really just a brief stopover for me.

Non-sequitur:

Apparently in Afghanistan, there’s an ethnic group with the name “Kuchi”. I never thought that one word would simultaneously make me think of Charo and Afghanistan. Curious.

Right now, my head is full of lists. Lists of things I want to do before I leave Vietnam, lists of people to see in Karachi, lists of things to do before I leave Karachi, lists of things I want to do when I’m home, lists of people I want to see when I’m home, etc. It’s a little crazy, to tell you the truth. I haven’t written all of these lists down because I don’t want to be too obsessive, but writing the lists and checking things off usually really helps me. Yes, I’m a type-A personality. Raise your hand if you’re surprised.

What…no one?

That’s what I thought.

There’s a bar/restaurant nearby that’s got a nice, pub-type atmosphere. There’s even a sign posted to tell you about their Happy Hour drink specials. Oh, and did I mention that Happy Hour runs from 10 am to 6 pm? They’re just so darn accommodating here in Vietnam that they even want to offer drink specials to the “hair of the dog” crowd trying to banish their mid-morning hangovers from the night before. Well done, my friends. That’s what I call customer service.

So far, the feedback I’ve received on what I’ve written has been positive, but it hasn’t been extensive. I’m going to interpret that as a good sign until I’m told otherwise. In fact, I got an e-mail from one of the higher-ups tell me that he’d heard that I was doing well, so that was good to hear. As I said, positive feedback isn’t all that common, so it’s a nice treat when you get it.

I’m going to show the new girl around town on Saturday. She came over for dinner last night and I showed her all the swag that I’ve picked up over the last few weeks. She agreed that I would most definitely need another suitcase, but wanted me to show her where I managed to find all of it. It’s funny, because people who work in the shops that I really like are starting to recognize me now. I would say that I’m a “regular” but there’s something a little weird about being a regular at a jewelry store or something. In any case, I’m glad to be able to share the wisdom of my experience with her (such as it is…), and it’ll be fun to have a day to hang out downtown with a girlfriend. I travel well by myself, and I like to do things by myself a lot. But there’s also something really nice about having a friend to laugh with and talk to as you’re seeing this stuff.

This week has gone by so quickly, it doesn’t feel like it should be Thursday. I don’t know what day it *should* be, maybe Tuesday? I guess since I found out that I’m not coming back for the long haul in the fall (I made a rhyme!), part of my recalibration involves me thinking “okay – of the stuff you wanted to do, what can you do in the next week and a half?” The answer? Depends on how creative I am.

I have mixed feelings about going back to Karachi. It’ll be nice to see Lois, and the other friends that I made there, and at least I can feel as though I really tried to wrap things up in good faith. But it wasn’t the easiest place to live, and finding out that the house staff were “reporting” on me really bugged me – I thought we had a positive and friendly relationship, and I wouldn’t have expected that. I actually haven’t thought about it all week, to be honest, but since it popped into my head again…I hate when you find out something about someone that makes you view your entire history with them in an entirely different, and substantially more negative, light. I never like to think the worst of people, and I don’t like it when I don’t feel as though I have any other option. Ah well – water under the bridge, right? I won’t have to deal with any of them for much longer.

But let’s end this on a happy note, shall we? Did I mention that I’ll be home in 27 days? Yay!

Shedding a Little Light

I heard from my boss that me not returning (maybe) has nothing to do with my job performance here (big sigh of relief), it has to do with the fact that I wasn’t on the original proposal and the client is being particular. Of course, that doesn’t mean I won’t be coming back here *at all*, it just means that I’m not likely to be back here for several months in the fall. So…I don’t get to be Eloise after all. *sigh* Ah well, maybe some other time.

Another team member got here today – a very cool French girl who is about the same age as me, we’ve hit it off well, so that’s really fun. She works for my company in the Paris office and has promised to give me a list of fun places that I have to see when I’m there in November. Her English is excellent, but we’ve also talked in French some – it’s good practice for me. In any case, it’s the first time that I’ve been able to talk to someone my age that I can relate to since I left DC! I guess I didn’t realize how much I’d missed it, but we’ve been able to talk almost incessantly. Hurrah for that!

It’s so funny to see how quickly things here change; where I’m going, how it’s going to go, what I’m going to be doing. In some ways it’s interesting, in some ways frustrating, but it’s certainly never boring.

I am definitely getting sick, but I do think it’s only allergies. Nevertheless, I ended up staying in last night because I felt completely exhausted. I made myself get up this morning and go running, and almost felt like I would need to use the “Emergency Stop” button on the treadmill (intentionally this time), but managed to make it through. Yay Mandy! When you’re in a place, however, when it’s 85 degrees and 100% humidity by the time you go for your 6 am run, it is *amazing* how quickly your body heats up, and how long it takes to really cool down. The gym has an air conditioner, but I don’t think anyone has ever used it, so mostly you just melt on the treadmill. There’s one guy who also gets up to workout early in the morning who has figured out a way to deal with that problem. He goes downstairs after his workout, strips down to his shorts, and goes swimming for a while.

I hope they use a lot of chlorine in that pool.

We went to a meeting yesterday and one today, both of which were very productive, and both of which were conducted almost entirely in Vietnamese. It was fine, it provided some zoning out time, and I managed to get some of the guys to ask a few questions I needed to have answered, but…yeah. Don’t know that it was the best use of my time – a good way to meet people we’ll have to work with, though. But to be at a meeting like that without the benefit of an interpreter is an odd experience. People are talking a mile a minute, occasionally laughing, nodding, looking at me as they’re saying something. I’m smiling serenely, trying to get “Does Your Mama Know?” by ABBA out of my head (it was on a TV show last night, for some inexplicable reason). Of course, now that I mentioned it, it’s back. Dang it.

It’s funny to have so many people in the office now – for such a long time it was just the PM and me. But now we’re at the point of ordering more desks (wonder if they’ll all be delivered on the back of a motorcycle?) and chairs and computers, so it looks like it’s really coming together.

I have been sleeping really poorly lately, for reasons I don’t fully understand. So this means that my body is looking for other appropriate times and places to catch up on sleep. Like now. It’s unfortunate, though, that “now” is 4:00 pm, as I sit here, stationed at my desk. Bad luck, I suppose. I’m in “waiting” mode at the moment, so I don’t have any urgent tasks to attend to, and therefore no sense of urgency to keep me on my toes. Although, the good thing is that I’ve managed to get done what I have needed to get done, so no one is waiting on work from me. (Wow, I guess I deserve a gold star or something.) The benefits of showing up early. I get to turn my draft in first, and have the most time for comments and revisions. Hopefully, they won’t be extensive, but I’ve got another week and a half to fix it if they are.

Now that my return to Vietnam is highly questionable, I’ve got to do a little mental re-adjustment. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really happy to have the time at home and be back in my life, and I think it’s going to be great to spend autumn in DC. But there’s still a bit of mental recalibration involved. I won’t have time this trip to do the extra traveling I wanted to do around Vietnam, which is disappointing. However, with the amount of business that we do here, I’d be surprised if the opportunity to return never presented itself. Besides, now that I’ve been here and have come to like the place, I can certainly think about returning on my own time. Not any time terribly soon, mind you, as I’ve got other travel plans for the near future. But some time – I’d definitely like to come back.

Waiting (Reprise)

Well, I’m waiting to hear from the Senior VP, with no idea what he’s going to say to me. It’s kind of like getting called to the principal’s office. It’s not always for something bad, but until you find out for yourself, it’s a little intimidating. So I’m wrapping up my revised methodology (which is, I think, much better than the last one, fortunately), and will then…sit here, I guess. I think I’m getting a cold or allergies or something, and I’m feeling a little run down. That coupled with nowhere near enough sleep last night has me seriously dragging and feeling kind of lousy. I will, however, try to make myself go running when I get home – it’s good for what ails you. Although, not always good for what ails you if you’re really sick. We’ll see how it goes.

I’ll be home in less than a month – tra-la-la!

I think I’ve decided that, if I stay, I will go with the nice hotel option. I’ll be like Eloise (one of my favorite books as a kid), except I’ll have a real job to do, and no nanny. They probably also won’t let me keep a turtle, but that’s okay, I don’t think I could call a pet “Weenie” anyway. Let’s face it, it’s not like this option is going to be an option wherever else I may be going for work, so why not? This is, of course, subject to change since I haven’t entered “decision” mode yet – I’m still weighing options. But the Eloise option is kinda fun to think about.

One of my officemates has her cell phone on. Fair enough, all of us do here. But it’s loud. And she’s getting calls from people she doesn’t want to talk to. So instead of setting the phone to “silent”, she just ignores it, because she doesn’t know how to mute the ringer. So it rings, and rings, and rings. Then a few minutes later it starts ringing again. It’s enough to drive a girl INSANE. At least, a girl like me.

There’s a girl I’ve seen quite a lot in the tailor shop that I’ve frequented since I’ve been here, and while we were waiting for the tailor to arrive today (I’ve had them make me a luurvely suit, but the jacket still needs a little work), we got to talking. She’s very nice, and after we chatted for a while, she asked if I was usually busy at night, and I said that no, generally I wasn’t. She asked if I would mind helping her learn English, and I said I’d be happy to, so we exchanged information. I think, first of all, it would be fun and a much better way to spend an evening or three than sitting in the apartment, slack-jawed in front of the TV, but also it would be fun to make a friend here. She’s probably a little younger than me, but I can’t tell by how much. I’d say she’s in her early 20s, maybe? But she moved here by herself a couple of years ago from her hometown, which is a small, historic town outside of Danang. She actually said I should visit there if I had more time, so I’ve made a mental note for the fall. (Still not a peep from the Senior VP dude.) Besides, if I help her with her English, which is actually pretty good, maybe she can help me learn some Vietnamese. (I have a feeling that she’ll be a better student than I will, but no harm in trying.) It’ll be fun to see what happens.

Done with the methodology revisions…the waiting continues. Well really…recommences. Here’s hoping that the PM doesn’t read it and say “DUMKOPF! I knew you couldn’t do zis! Vhot iss diss rrubbish??” Okay, I doubt he’d say that, or at least not that way, but I really hope he doesn’t think it, either. Just got an e-mail from my boss saying that the Senior VP in question said I was not to return here…so I have no idea what’s going on, because he still has not said anything to me. In fact, no one has. Now I’m paranoid that it’s got something to do with me, or my job performance. I don’t know. I do much better if people are straightforward with me, and that’s not happening. It’s very frustrating, to say the least.

You've Got to be Kidding...

I spoke with the PM this morning and now it’s possible that I’m not coming back in the fall. Apparently the Senior VP for the region is going to call me tomorrow and talk to me. About something. It’s a good thing that they’re not being cryptic or anything, eh? If he already knows what he has to tell me, why doesn’t he tell me? These are the kinds of things that make me paranoid. Don’t get me wrong, it will be great to have the time at home, and I’m sure I’ll find plenty of ways to keep myself busy at work, but I just don’t understand what’s going on. (On the plus side, my ticket to Paris is likely to be a lot cheaper from DC than from Ho Chi Minh City.) This is just…frustrating. Even if it can sometimes take me a while to make decisions about things, once I make up my mind, that’s usually the way it is. So after having mentally adjusted to another three months back here, having everything thrown up in the air again is a little exasperating. Oh well – as I’ve said before, this is the nature of this business, I need to be more go-with-the-flow.

But it’s good that I’ve got most of my gift shopping done…that way, if I don’t come back, at least I’ve still got things for good little boys and girls that they’re not likely to find elsewhere between now and Christmas. And their birthdays, for some of them.

The comments I received on the methodology I wrote were minimal and largely useless – something along the lines of someone saying “read this” and sending a document that I already had. So I know it needs a major overhaul, which is fine, I just need to figure out how to do it. It’s not a huge deal, I’ve got some ideas, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hoping for more substantive input. I don’t have a problem working independently and figuring things out, but when I’ve been put into a situation where I know that people don’t think I can do what I’m supposed to be doing, and I’ve asked for help, it’s a little disheartening to receive so little of it. Nonetheless, onward and upward. I can at least sound like I know what I’m talking about these days, which is progress.

As I predicted, I was a complete slug yesterday, which was kind of nice. In a way. I wouldn’t want every day to be like that, and when you’re in a studio apartment, your bed often doubles as your couch, so that adds to the sensation of pure laziness. But then I got up early this morning to go running, and I have decided to write yesterday off as a “recharge” day. (As Madeline Kahn said in Blazing Saddles: “I feel wefweshed…”) I decided to make myself some dinner last night, consisting of rice with curried tofu and veggies. Keep in mind that I actually like tofu when it’s cooked properly. Well, the curry paste that I used had something in it that caused an unbelievably foul smell to permeate the entire apartment. It actually didn’t end up tasting bad, but wow. I hope that the smell actually did dissipate, and that I didn’t just get used to it. In any event, it’s probably not a bad idea for me to throw the balcony door open and turn the fans on when I get back to the apartment.

In light of my extended time here, I don’t think that the Bangladesh trip is going to work out for me. That’s disappointing, but it’s not catastrophic. I would imagine that we’ll have some work out that way in the future, so I don’t think it’s my last opportunity to go there. And as I had said earlier, I wouldn’t turn down the chance to go there, but it’s not on the top of my list of places I want to see. So, a bummer, but not tragic.

It appears that the originally proposed Resettlement Specialist (what I’m doing) for this project is now available for part of the project. This is actually very good news, because if she can get here soon, then she and I can work together before I leave. I don’t know if that will affect whether or not I come back here in the fall, but if she’s not available for the duration of the project, I think they’ll still need me. Maybe this is what Mr. Senior VP needs to talk to me about? Oh, the confusion. Since I’m still not psychic, I’ll have to wait until he calls me tomorrow, I suppose.

The soup of the day at today’s lunch place was “Triple Beans with Hame”. Heh.

I got my quote from the swanky hotel today and it was higher than the first price I’d heard, but lower than what he told me Saturday. I e-mailed him back and said that I was confused because the first price I heard was lower, and that I was concerned that the increase in price from what I was originally told would stretch my living allowance more than I wanted to. I asked if there was any way they could be flexible about it…so we’ll see what they come up with. It’s only a matter of a few dollars a day, to be honest, but that adds up over the course of three months. If they won’t be flexible, I’ll have to think about it – although I think it might still be my best option. Of course, it’s best for me to wait until I know for certain that I’m returning, I suppose. Until tomorrow on that one?

I *really* do need to get over my penchant for planning. Although, I am a planner, so it shouldn’t be totally unexpected. I’ve even got a piece of paper saying I spent a lot of money to become a planner. There’s a seal on it and everything.