Definitions

I was talking to one of the girls in the office the other day, who is engaged. I congratulated her, and asked when she was getting married. She became a little flustered, smiled shyly and said “oh…I don’t…I want to…well, I want to enjoy some more freedom before I commit.” I chuckled a little and said it sounded like waiting was probably a good idea for her. Then I thought about that a little.

Normally, someone saying they want their “freedom” in that context rubs me the wrong way, for several reasons. First, it implies that relationships are a prison, and a good relationship is not a prison. Second, it is generally something someone says when (to be very blunt) they just want to keep dating and/or sleeping around. I suppose that’s fair – if you don’t think you’ve found someone to whom you want to commit, then don’t do it – it’s much better for everyone involved that way. But I’ll get to my actual point, which is this: I started to think about what *she* meant by “freedom”. In this culture, a woman’s husband can say whether or not she can show her face in public, whether or not she can work, and whether or not she’s even allowed to leave the house. So when she said wanting to enjoy her freedom, it had a far more literal meaning. And it kind of made me sad – she’s a very bright, personable, and educated young woman, and I really hope that her future husbands sees and appreciates those things in her.

I have to admit that I still don’t know enough about the culture here to know what the norm is in the average household, but I don’t think I’ve seen a single married woman here who works outside the home. The young woman who cleans our office is divorced. Her husband left her with their children – just disappeared, and started another family. While this isn’t exactly legal, it’s also not exactly uncommon, from what I understand. When things like this happen, sometimes the woman is considered to have disgraced her family and is left to her own devices, regardless of whether or not her family would be able to take her in or help her in some way. In fairness, often they can’t do much because poverty is so prevalent here. The “deadbeat dad” phenomenon is alive and well in the US, to be sure, but it just seems like a much harsher situation over here.

But again, I’m an outsider and there is still a lot that I don’t understand or know about life here, so take all of this for what it is.

Drove past another anti-Western protest in the street today. I guess things haven’t exactly died down, after all. Oy. Well, at least it didn’t appear to be violent. I’m just trying to keep my head down and not piss anyone off. No word since last week about those guys who escaped from prison in Sana’a, but if I had to guess, I’d say that if they’re still in the country, they’re probably in the eastern part. At least I hope so – I’m really not looking forward to my four hour drive through the mountains to get to Sana’a. The *good* news, though, is that day is less than two weeks away!!

Learning Opportunities

We’re under a lot of pressure to do more work in the same amount of time, for the same amount of money, which is a very common occurrence. This usually results in an interesting series of meetings and phone calls involving TL and a cast of thousands. This has also resulted in some people, like Gifty, complaining to Mab that we’re not working with them, which isn’t true. If he’d rather spend most of his day playing computer games, I don’t have time to coax him out of it – I’ve got stuff to write. So TL has told them, quite rightly, that we’re already working every day of the week, working long hours in the office, and frequently working back at the hotel at night, as well. So for us to do more is…well, I’m not usually a defeatist type, but I really don’t see how it’s possible. He definitely has a flair for the dramatic, and these conversations usually involve pounding of fists on desks and indignant statements like “When we are to sleep? We work by night, we work every day, no one will do what we have done here!! What more they want from us?” I’ve crashed incredibly early the past couple of nights, and while I’m sure being sick had something to do with it, I also think that not having had a day off since January 4^th is a big factor as well. But TL is very good at sticking up for his team – it’s actually a point of pride with him. I think this is why he’s not afraid to boot people who aren’t doing their job, it makes it easier for him to always defend his team. He’s not shy about telling Mab or anyone else how much we’ve been working and how we’re already doing everything we can to get our work done. It’s actually pretty gratifying to work with someone whose business philosophy isn’t “what have you done for me lately?”

Explain this to me: on a TV network where they will cut out any kind of kissing in movies and imported TV shows, let alone more…extensive physical contact, they show an M&Ms commercial that plays off the “green M&Ms as aphrodisiac” urban legend. Seriously, “she’s” wearing white go-go boots, swinging in little vine-covered swings, making smoochy faces, and giving the camera “come hither, ooh-la-la” looks. As much as an animated piece of candy can give such a look, I suppose. It just seems a tad contradictory. Although, I guess it’s not like she’s making out with another M&M.

Leaving aside, for the moment, that it’s totally weird to see the talking M&Ms talking in Arabic.

Because talking candy that speaks English is much less weird.

Right…

I need a hobby. I’m bringing my knitting next time.

I'm Wicked Smaht

I think I finally figured out what got me so sick last time I was here – what with having had some issues again. (Me and my big tempting fate mouth.) There’s a nice girl in the office who brought in some snacky things that her mom had made yesterday. Well, the last time I got sick, she had also brought in something her mom made – I have no idea what the particular ingredient is that my body doesn’t like, but this is the only common denominator. So, the next time she says that she’s brought something her mother made, I will politely say thank you, and stuff it in my purse or something, to throw out later. Fortunately, I’m better equipped this time for these little incidents (thanks, Mom), so it didn’t take me out of the game for too long. Unfortunately, though, I have a raging headache, possibly as the result of dehydration? Dunno – either way I’m going to keep drinking lots of water and try to get to sleep – generally that’s the only thing that helps a headache for me. TL was very nice and offered to leave at 5 so I could go home – actually, he asked if I wanted to come back to the hotel early, but I wanted to try to get some work done. My plans went somewhat awry as my eyes hurt, courtesy of said headache. This may also be something of an obstacle to me finishing up things tonight. Writing this blog entry is taking up enough energy as it is. Isn’t it good to know I’ve got my priorities straight?

SO, odd little non sequitur: I was flipping channels and saw something on E! about the Asian Excellence Awards. A red carpet dweller is interviewing people as they walk by, and you see a lot of well-known Asian actresses and actors. Then you see Ralph Macchio.

Like you do.

Clearly my brain is not going to make working tonight easy for me.

Taiz By Night

We managed to leave the office at 6:30 tonight, but then N needed to go see the university, which is in the west part of town – our office is on the east side. So we got a tour of the city by night – it all comes to life after a quiet afternoon. The afternoon is quiet because most people are stoned on qat, but it wears off by the time the evening rolls around and things pick up. There are tons of people out on the street – mostly men, but some women as well, although they’re really hard to see at night. (That's not meant to be snarky - it's just true. They're completely coverd in black, and if you're out of the city center, about 80% of the street lamps don't have power.)

There are tons of shops open, with people milling in and around them. There was one shop that sold these bizarre, enormous, puffy vinyl chairs. The backs of these chairs were an explosion of hearts – it looked like something from a Vegas wedding emporium (or Long Island, circa 1985). That in itself was funny enough, but to see a couple guys casually lounging together in a glittery red and pink version of one of these, with their jambias strapped to their waists, was just too much. In the U.S., well, I can’t really think of too many people, gay or straight, male or female, who would curl up in one of those babies in the first place. But here – nothing at all unusual about two straight guys chilling out in the Tunnel of Love.

No protests today, so that was good – all was quiet in the city. N leaves tomorrow, which is kind of a bummer – he’s been fun to hang out with. Now it’s just me and TL left here, and I’ll be home in 17 days – yee haw! Knowing what’s supposed to be done and when it’s supposed to be done, I’m left wondering, once again, what exactly it is that I’m going to be doing here for five weeks when I come back in March and April. I mean, I know we have final reports to do, but we need comments in order to do that, and if past experience is anything to go by, these comments won’t be delivered at lightning speed. I’m going to be seriously bummed out if I have little or nothing to do other than wait when I get back - or worse, if they say "well, come back again in June when we really have stuff to work with". But the tickets have been purchased, my hotel is booked – so I hope there’s still a lot to do in March.

Heh

TL’s last name means, literally, “the beloved” in Arabic. Someone who is working with us from the Washington office has, in her correspondence, slightly misspelled his name, so that she’s now addressing him as something akin to “Dr. Love”. It’s not the first thing that would come to mind if you see him, and it certainly gives us both a very good laugh.

Yesterday the manager of the restaurant where we eat lunch, let’s call him The Kabob Nazi (although he’s really very nice – I can’t imagine him saying “No kabobs for you! Come back – one year!”), was taking our orders, and N mentioned that he’d like potatoes instead of rice. He didn’t have them for us yesterday, but promised to make us potatoes today. They were so yummy. It was like someone took Greek-style potatoes and mashed them. Dee-licious. The reason we’re able to go to the same restaurant every day and not go insane with boredom is because they have specials every day, so we can change things up often. They also know what we like, what we order regularly, and will make things especially for us. (The benefit of being a regular customer!)

I was walking through the hotel lobby this evening, and they told me I had a package waiting for me. I wasn’t expecting anything else from my parents that I know of, so I was both excited and perplexed. My friend Abigail sent me a box of goodies! There are hazelnut-filled wafers, chocolates, lollipops, crackers, jam, mushroom paté, and jelly beans, among other things – she went a little nuts at World Market, apparently. It was such a great surprise! (It shouldn’t have been a total surprise, though – she *did* say she was going to send me something.) I think my favorite is the bag of Jelly Bellies – a certain newlywed former roommate and I share a particular weakness for all kinds of gummy and jelly candies. I shudder to think how quickly we’ve demolished embarrassingly large quantities of gummy bears, gummy fruits, and jelly beans in our time. I can’t fully explain the appeal, but part of it lies in the unabashedly artificial, sugary, preservative-y goodness – which isn’t something I typically go for, but I do get cravings for it. In any case – THANK YOU Abigail!

For some reason, we get Turner Classic Movies (TCM) here. Lately they’ve been showing a lot of old musicals, and they’ve been really fun to watch. I do have a weakness for some old movies – Audrey Hepburn, Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, Cary Grant and the like. I rarely indulge it, but they do give some warm fuzzies. Maybe I’ll have to bring a few on my next trip. The oldest movie I have with me now is Johnny Dangerously (“do you know your last name’s an adverb?”) – but I don’t think it counts as a classic. So between this, the tomato soup I just made, and my box full of goodies, it’s a good, relaxing night! Plus, I got everything done today that I needed to get done, so I’m feeling pretty good about that.

*whew*

Twelve hours today doing population projections. Okay, not *all* twelve hours were spent doing population projections, but those last few hours sure felt like it. TL is really good to work with and I’m learning a lot from him, but holy crap am I tired. I can only imagine how tired he must be, he’s had some fairly serious health problems lately. It’s really, really, really a good thing that he and I like each other – this would be excruciating otherwise.

We made a schedule today of everything that needs to get done in the next 10 days. To say that it’s ambitious is an understatement. Needless to say, I won’t have a day off before I leave. And to think that my boss asked if I deserved comp time when I got home. He’s hilarious.

The Recruit is on The Movie Channel (odd coincidence, as someone was just telling me about it), and a lot of it is set in Washington. I’ve never seen it before – it’s pretty good. Al Pacino is a wee little man, though. Something you might not always notice as he’s usually shouting and waving his arms around a lot – makes him seem bigger. In any event, I’m seeing lots of familiar scenes, which is nice. (Although Colin Farrell allegedly got on a Red Line train at Union Station and they said the next stop was Dupont Circle. Shyah.)

I’m more than halfway done, I’ve got two and a half weeks left on this trip. I am *really* looking forward to going home – in case that wasn’t obvious to one and all. Looking forward to curling up on my couch, next to one of my two cats, eating a dinner I made myself that in no way involves Cup-A-Soup (maybe I’ll make myself some risotto?). However, after a while you can get into a routine here and mostly ignore the unpleasant parts. It doesn’t make me miss home any less, but it does make being here manageable most of the time. I still want to take advantage of the unique opportunity I have to be here, but I think my natural curiosity is a little tapped out at the moment. Maybe it’ll be a little more recharged when I come back next time.

Oh, and the guy who runs the restaurant where we eat lunch every day is a dead ringer for The Soup Nazi. It almost makes me want to tell him he looks like Al Pacino, to see what he says.

This Isn’t Funny…Really, It’s Not…

When the project first started, there was a guy here who was working for the lending agency sponsoring this project who wasn’t in the best of health, to put it politely. Well…he ended up having a heart attack, and there wasn’t any suitable medical care, so he died. This part is the part that really and truly isn’t funny. I never met him and don’t know who he is, but anyone dying just isn’t funny. HOWEVER, his position was never re-filled by the lending agency. We were then criticized for not coordinating our efforts with him as we were writing the initial phases of the project. Right. So, TL’s very diplomatic response to this particular piece of criticism read as follows:

Since we are well aware of the situation resulting from the death of ____ shortly after he joined the project, we did not comment on the lack of coordination.

The less nice version of that? “Um…guys? HELLO!!! It’s pretty hard to work with someone who is dead.” I don’t know why that struck me as funny, but it did.

There are some anti-Western protests here, because of that big controversy about the Danish and other European newspapers printing that caricature of Mohammed. Now, I’m not going to weigh in with my personal opinions on it, but I have to admit to being slightly relieved that at least the US isn’t presently at the bottom of the international crap heap in terms of image in the Middle East. (Make no mistake – no one is going around chanting “We love America”, but at least we’re not the particular object of fury at the moment.) In any case, it’s a little strange and unsettling to see. We get horns honking at us around town and people shouting. Oh, the good times.

Gifty wanted to add me to his Yahoo IM list. Given that there's no need for him to contact me outside of work, I politely wrote back and said that I only used IM to contact friends and family when I was traveling. That's actually a fairly accurate statement. But really - he works 20 feet from me, there is no need for it, kids.

I crashed pretty early last night, so I was glad to have worked out a little in the morning. With no dysentery this time (not yet, anyway), I’ve got to rely on actual healthy food and exercise to maintain a normal weight. What’s *that* about? Sheesh.

If I get sick after this, you all have permission to laugh at me.